Your Mom is Your First Audience

JC is learning how to tell  jokes.

“Hey mom,” he said the other day. “What does a frog say when he sneezes? ACHOO!” And then he laughed hysterically.

Whenever he tries to make me laugh, I am reminded of a Robin Williams quote.

firstaudience

I love teaching him how to tell jokes…but I often find him funnier when he’s not trying to be.

For example, he seems to think that California is the gateway to everything. We live on the east coast and have never been anywhere near California. This conversation happened in the car last week.

“Mom, do you know where my favorite place on the whole earth is?”

 “Where?”

 “The north pole. Mom, why is it called the north pole?”

 “Because it’s the northern most point on the earth.”

 “And it’s really far away from Mars!”

 “Yes, it is. What makes it your favorite place?”

 “Santa Claus is there. And I want to take a train there to visit him. Do you know what train goes there?”

 “The Polar Express?”

 “However did you guess, mom? Lets go to California.”

 “Wait—why?”

“Because that’s where the Polar Express’ station is. And then we can go to the north pole.”

He recently came to me and asked for a piece of paper and  pen. When supplied with these things, he wrote the handful of letters he knows and a couple of drawings of a train. Then he returned to me.

“Mom, I wrote a speech. But I need you to read it to me, because I wrote it in Spanish and I don’t speak Spanish.”

Some of his best work is about his imaginary friend, Ansel.

“Mom, Ansel drives a Lancer. It’s pink and it has the word “whatever” written on it.”

“Mom, Ansel is in time out. He took all my clothes off my hangers and put them in the bath tub. But I don’t need a consequence. I’ve already handled it. 

Ansel is getting his own blog post soon. He is a trouble maker.

JC has very specific ideas about how we should play together.

“Mom, I want to play football outside. You be the guy who gets tackled, and I’ll be the guy who wins.”

(I can’t tell you how excited I was about that one).

Mom, your name is Captain Foofamaloo and I’m Captain JC. You drive the ship while I relax. You don’t sound like a pirate. You need to sound like, ARRRRRR. Or like Hagrid.”

Apparently, I need to work on my accents.

What was the last thing your kid said that cracked you up?

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6 thoughts on “Your Mom is Your First Audience

  1. This is funny. We live on the east coast, Virginia. My 12 year old has decided she is running away to California. I’m thinking not without me kid. My 9 year old is loyal though. She’s only running away if I go. I know it kinda defeats the purpose of “running away.” If only they had picked another state.
    I truly have wanted to just drive across country to visit Cali. When to find the time and money is another story.
    The playing football cracked me up. You get tackled. He wins. Sounds fair to me. lol. Loved the Robin Williams quote too!

    Like

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